Would quit again, 5 out of 5 stars
Four years ago, my wife and kids went camping to close out the summer. I had an eye infection and thought it would be better to stay home. For my new-found quiet weekend, I had planned to have a bottle of wine: half a bottle with dinner on Friday and half on Saturday.
I had spent a decade up to that point trying to moderate my drinking. I liked drinking. I liked beer; I liked wine; I liked making cocktails; I liked finding bars where I could ask for a slightly obscure classic cocktail. Being lightly hungover was a bit of a drag, and being more hungover was much worse with babies around. I was also increasingly anxious about the long-term health effects of alcohol. There was alot of self talk in my late twenties and into my thirties: “ok, only have two beers at that party so that you can go out tomorrow as well”. “Harvard medical school says 1-2 drinks a day is ok for men, so try not to have more than 7, or maybe 14, drinks a week.”
I woke up that Saturday morning a bit groggy with a lot less than half a bottle remaining. A little hungover and a little guilty, I considered my options: can I go for an extra long run to sweat it off? Eat a big breakfast? Get a few beers later to make up for the missing wine?
I had gone to the dentist a few weeks prior, and to book the appointment I had to sign up for ZocDoc, an online scheduling service. This provided me with new Zocdoc spam! And one came to me the day before:
“Shoot, Zocdoc, maybe you’re right. Maybe this is it.” I browsed some of the popular quit-drinking books and one spoke to me, This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. It really clicked as I read the entire book that morning: I struggle with moderating alcohol because alcohol is addictive. There are all these profiting industries and social pressures that sustain people’s struggles with it. I don’t have to participate. I can just …stop.
It’s been four years since I had any alcohol, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done for myself other than get married. (My loving wife chose to stop drinking with me out of support <3.)
I tried moderation for a long time and it took a lot of effort. Now that I have given it up, I don’t have to count drinks, or plan my week activities around where alcohol will or won’t be. I don’t have to try not to have more than two beers before halftime, or try to act sober after accidentally having five, or try to be extra patient with my kids on Saturday morning even though I feel like a piece of grumpy, soggy cardboard.
I got all of the conventional benefits from quitting—e.g., better parent, better husband, better sleep, better shape, better professional. The biggest pleasant surprise for me was getting my music back. Although I never stopped playing or writing music, I didn’t finish anything from roughly age 23 to 36. In the past four years I’ve published four solo albums and I am in a very cool band. Something had gotten stuck and right around when I quit drinking it got unstuck, and I am so grateful. In conclusion: after years of trying to be a responsible drinker, I gave up the ruse and got loads of relief and benefits in return.
